You'll See It When You Believe It Dr. Wayne Dyer

As usual, I will start out my post by saying that I am not a fancy writer, so please bear with how I organize my thoughts and my writing technique. I have a voice and I want to spread it to the world. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write.

"When someone acts in a way you find disagreeable, understand that your hurt, anger, fear or any strong emotion is how you have chosen to process that person's behavior. If you are unable or unwilling to notice that emotion and subsequently let go of it, then it is yourself that is in need of attention. That person's behavior has collided with something unfinished or unacknowledged in your life. Distress at the person's behavior is your way of avoiding something inside of you." p. 267 You'll See It When You Believe It Dr. Wayne Dyer

My journey to encouragement has been an adventure. The last sentence quoted from Dr. Dyer's book, You'll See It When You Believe It really hit home for me when I read this for the first time back in 2003. I didn't know what was unfinished inside of me, which could have caused the distress that I felt by my peers behavior towards me. I used to feel rejection if someone's behavior towards me was not kind in my eyes. I felt like a little child bottled up with fear. I would shut down. I didn't know how to channel my fears? On the outside, I was this grown adult, but on the inside I was this scared little boy. I felt like I was constantly watching my back with all of the fears that I had in my life. As a result, I was definitely avoiding something inside of me when I felt rejected by people.

Moreover, I never voiced any perceived hurt that I felt by anyone who rejected me. I just internalized everything and just kept it bottled up inside. I chose to process this hurt in my own way and that was to internalize what I thought was done wrong to me. Yes, I was in need of attention to be validated for the past hurts that happened in my past. I went into protection mode by shutting down and trying to figure out what I could've done to get the result that I was looking for by my perceived misconception of the person who I thought rejected me. Why was I unable to let go of my perceived rejection? I was looking for their approval, their validation, their acceptance of me. I was looking for something that I never received as a kid. My mother was great, but I never received the acceptance and validation from my father. I was trying to get validation from everyone because I was trying to fill that void in my life that I felt wasn't fulfilled by my father.

Yes, the attention that I was looking for was attention that I was looking for from my father. I felt unworthy when I wasn't accepted by my peers. I chose to process these hurts by not opening my mouth. Although true, as I look back on my life, I can see where this affected my life. I had little social skills due to bottling up my emotions. It was like being frozen mentally in my mind. My soul was trapped and unfulfilled because I had all of this gook that was stifling me. I wasn't able to see past all of the haze. I hadn't found myself. I hadn't known any other way to act. I didn't know how to process my life. I've spent so much time in shut down mode. Furthermore, I look back and wonder if shutting down was a reason why I pushed people away? Was that the reason why I could never find any fun in my life? I could never let people see me smile or give any indication that I was enjoying myself. If you were hurt in your past and you don't forgive and let go of the hurts, then you will carry some bad emotions around and they can possibly affect your life. Eventually, you have to find an outlet to let go of those emotions so that you can heal.

In spite of that, I had to go on a journey to get to the bottom of a few issues in my life. I was ready to be free. I was so tired of being a doormat. I was tired of feeling rejected. I wanted to know what it felt like to be strong and have self confidence and to feel good. I put into practice what I was reading in You'll See It When You Believe It and all of the other books that I've read and discussed thus far in previous post. I made note cards of all the phrases that touched a nerve in my soul. I wrote them down and I would read them everyday, until I felt like I had filled myself up with positivity and tools to combat the world. I had to learn to just let things go and not let them bother me. Trust me it was a hard process to change my thought pattern. Although true, I began to change my life. I'm not saying anything was a quick fix, but the new skills that I was learning helped bring me out of my shell.

In conclusion, I will always be on my journey to encouragement path. I am a W.I.P( Work In Progress). I can accept that I am W.I.P, because change is a part of life. I hope that someone has been encouraged by my post today. You'll see the change in your life when you believe that you can change your life. I hope that you find new skills that will help you on your journey to encouragement. :) Tweet