You'll See It When You Believe It Dr. Wayne Dyer

As usual, I will start out my post by saying that I am not a fancy writer, so please bear with how I organize my thoughts and my writing technique. I have a voice and I want to spread it to the world. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write.

"When someone acts in a way you find disagreeable, understand that your hurt, anger, fear or any strong emotion is how you have chosen to process that person's behavior. If you are unable or unwilling to notice that emotion and subsequently let go of it, then it is yourself that is in need of attention. That person's behavior has collided with something unfinished or unacknowledged in your life. Distress at the person's behavior is your way of avoiding something inside of you." p. 267 You'll See It When You Believe It Dr. Wayne Dyer

My journey to encouragement has been an adventure. The last sentence quoted from Dr. Dyer's book, You'll See It When You Believe It really hit home for me when I read this for the first time back in 2003. I didn't know what was unfinished inside of me, which could have caused the distress that I felt by my peers behavior towards me. I used to feel rejection if someone's behavior towards me was not kind in my eyes. I felt like a little child bottled up with fear. I would shut down. I didn't know how to channel my fears? On the outside, I was this grown adult, but on the inside I was this scared little boy. I felt like I was constantly watching my back with all of the fears that I had in my life. As a result, I was definitely avoiding something inside of me when I felt rejected by people.

Moreover, I never voiced any perceived hurt that I felt by anyone who rejected me. I just internalized everything and just kept it bottled up inside. I chose to process this hurt in my own way and that was to internalize what I thought was done wrong to me. Yes, I was in need of attention to be validated for the past hurts that happened in my past. I went into protection mode by shutting down and trying to figure out what I could've done to get the result that I was looking for by my perceived misconception of the person who I thought rejected me. Why was I unable to let go of my perceived rejection? I was looking for their approval, their validation, their acceptance of me. I was looking for something that I never received as a kid. My mother was great, but I never received the acceptance and validation from my father. I was trying to get validation from everyone because I was trying to fill that void in my life that I felt wasn't fulfilled by my father.

Yes, the attention that I was looking for was attention that I was looking for from my father. I felt unworthy when I wasn't accepted by my peers. I chose to process these hurts by not opening my mouth. Although true, as I look back on my life, I can see where this affected my life. I had little social skills due to bottling up my emotions. It was like being frozen mentally in my mind. My soul was trapped and unfulfilled because I had all of this gook that was stifling me. I wasn't able to see past all of the haze. I hadn't found myself. I hadn't known any other way to act. I didn't know how to process my life. I've spent so much time in shut down mode. Furthermore, I look back and wonder if shutting down was a reason why I pushed people away? Was that the reason why I could never find any fun in my life? I could never let people see me smile or give any indication that I was enjoying myself. If you were hurt in your past and you don't forgive and let go of the hurts, then you will carry some bad emotions around and they can possibly affect your life. Eventually, you have to find an outlet to let go of those emotions so that you can heal.

In spite of that, I had to go on a journey to get to the bottom of a few issues in my life. I was ready to be free. I was so tired of being a doormat. I was tired of feeling rejected. I wanted to know what it felt like to be strong and have self confidence and to feel good. I put into practice what I was reading in You'll See It When You Believe It and all of the other books that I've read and discussed thus far in previous post. I made note cards of all the phrases that touched a nerve in my soul. I wrote them down and I would read them everyday, until I felt like I had filled myself up with positivity and tools to combat the world. I had to learn to just let things go and not let them bother me. Trust me it was a hard process to change my thought pattern. Although true, I began to change my life. I'm not saying anything was a quick fix, but the new skills that I was learning helped bring me out of my shell.

In conclusion, I will always be on my journey to encouragement path. I am a W.I.P( Work In Progress). I can accept that I am W.I.P, because change is a part of life. I hope that someone has been encouraged by my post today. You'll see the change in your life when you believe that you can change your life. I hope that you find new skills that will help you on your journey to encouragement. :) Tweet

Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne Dyer

As usual, I will start out my post by saying that I am not a fancy writer, so please bear with how I organize my thoughts and my writing technique. I have a voice and I want to spread it to the world. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write.

Top five reason why I don't need approval from people:

1.) I'm an individual and I don't need validation from people.

2.) I'm a loving person.

3.) It's my life

4.) I'm special in my own unique way.

5.) I can't change what goes on in a persons head and I can't change the thoughts that a person has about me.

Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne Dyer p. 83 "Of course you will never get approval from everyone for everything that you do, but when you see yourself as worthy you'll never be depressed when approval is withheld. Disapproval will be viewed by you as the natural consequences of living on this planet where people are individual in their perceptions."

After reading this quote from Dr. Dyer's book, another revelation went off in my mind. The revelation was that I didn't need approval from my peers and thinking that I needed approval from my peers was ridiculous. My worthiness didn't depend on my peers. My worthiness depends on myself. Why am I going to torture myself because I am looking for my peers approval? I wished that I realized this new found revelation when I was growing up. Although true, maybe it was all a part of my personal journey to encouragement and that is why I had to take the long road of approving myself? I could go on and on until the end of time trying to figure out why I needed approval in my life? I would never have progressed in my life if I kept trying to get approval from my peers.

Nevertheless, before reading Dr Dyer's book, I didn't know of any tools that I could have applied to stop the rejection that I had felt when I didn't feel approved of by my peers. I had to apply the skills that I was learning from Dr. Dyer's book. I also told myself that I am an individual and I don't need validation from people. I started thinking and acting in loving ways towards myself. I began to realize that it was my life and my approval was all that mattered in regards to my life. Furthermore, I began believing that I was unique in my own individual way. All of us are different and that is the beauty of being an individual. Realizing that I couldn't change my peers thoughts and opinions about me was a freeing experience in my mind. I used to do everything that I could to make myself less and my peers more in my eyes, because their approval was what counted at the time.

Moreover, I wasn't enjoying my life to the fullest due to the fact that I was trapped in a world of approval addiction. I had to break free of the humdrum that I was living in and learn that there was a world with a purpose for me to fulfill. My world opened up once I let go of my approval addiction. I wish that I grew up with all of the positive traits that I was beginning to discover in the Self Help books that I was reading. I was entering a new phase in my life. The door was opening up and I was walking into unfamiliar territories of positivity. My mind wanted to go forward but there were the times that my mind pushed me back behind the door. I was overjoyed with the concept that I could be different and that I could free myself from approval addictions.

In conclusion, breaking down my approval addictions helped release other fears that I carried around in my life. I will discuss those other fears in future posts.You can visit the other Self Help books that I read to help me on my personal journey to encouragement. I truly hope that someone received a bit of encouragement. You too can free yourself from your approval addictions. Tweet

Real Magic by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Real Magic by Dr. Wayne Dyer 

As usual, I will start out my post by saying that I am not a fancy writer, so please bear with how I organize my thoughts and my writing technique. I have a voice and I want to spread it to the world. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write.

Confidence comes from within yourself.  Life has so much complexity to it and for some people it takes time to discover the real you.  Real Magic by Dr. Wayne Dyer  p. 218 "In fact, such a change in your personality to become more outspoken, confident, loving, gentle or anything else might be the very miracle that you seek."

Miracles come in all shapes and sizes. The miracle that you seek will come to you when you are ready to receive that miracle. At the time when I read that quote from Dr. Dyer's book Real Magic, my confidence was low.  I never gave any significance to the word confidence. Confidence was a foreign word and feeling to me.  I only existed in this earth and my mind was on auto pilot.  I was living without a purpose or any direction in my life. I let people dictate how I felt. I wanted acceptance. I didn't know that I was suffering while trying to find acceptance.  I tried so hard to fit in with my peers, but it seemed like the harder that I tried, the further I pushed myself into a mental box.  I was living inside a mental box all along and didn't know how to get out of that mental box.  I was so afraid to move outside of that mental box in fear that I was going to get hurt or embarrassed.  I was afraid to show my true personality in any social situation.  As I stated in my earlier posts, I was extremely shy.  My confidence level was low, so how could I move out of that mental box or show my true personality?  At the time, I didn't know that I built a mental box. I was existing to the best of my ability. I pushed all of my feelings aside to please the people around me, because I didn't have any confidence to be myself. I was looking for a miracle to make me stronger and all along it resided right inside of me.  Confidence.

In addition, I was always looking for people to validate me.  I desperately wanted acceptance to laugh and fit in with my peers.  I was scared to be myself. I was scared to show emotions, such as laughter. I was always serious and diligent.  I think being so serious was my way of masking the hurt that I was feeling in my life?  No one was going to validate me or give me my confidence, because validation and confidence are  internal.  I had to stop waiting for people to accept me. I had to accept myself and love myself.

In my mind, I was this flesh and blood human creature existing from day to day.  I didn't realize that my human dynamics had more complexity to it such as a mind, soul and spirit.  All of those dynamics were turned off and I wasn't ready to discover any different way of thinking for myself.  I think that when you get to a place in your life to step out of your self imposed box and explore the universe around you, you will be ready in that time. My time had arrived when I discovered Self Help books.  I was ready to find the miracle of confidence that already existed inside of me.  I had to learn how to tap into that rich resource of confidence and live my life in a different way that truly reflected the strong person that was living inside of me.  I built a mental box to protect myself and I didn't realize that I closed myself off from the world. A whole new world was waiting for me by tapping into my confidence.  No, I didn't instantly have this tremendous feeling to throw the mental box away.  I still had a long ways to go before I started to mentally open up and leave behind my mental box.

Moreover, I had to start searching out who I was in this life.  I felt inspired with the Self Help books that I began reading.  I gained new revelations with each book and I was elevated mentally to a higher ground in my life. It still took me years to get to a point in my life where I started to let my confidence flow. Although true, I still go back and forth with the confidence issue, but I am in such a different atmosphere then where I was seven plus years ago.  I have my ups and downs just like everyone else. I am human. One has to be ready to accept the good and the bad about themselves as they go through their own journey in life.  I think that life is complicated for some people and you just have to roll with the cards that have been dealt to you. You have to figure out that balance/medium that is going to give you a significant purpose in your life. You have to be ready to dig beyond the surface of yourself and dig deep until you find the root to whatever is causing you to feel a certain way or act in a certain way. I was ready to dig and find my confidence.

In conclusion, I will continue to discuss the Self Help books that have helped me in my personal journey. You can check out the books that I've read at my website.  I hope that I've encouraged someone today. :) Tweet

Your Sacred Self by Dr. Wayne Dyer

I will start out my post by saying that I am not a fancy writer, so please bear with how I organize my thoughts and my writing technique. I have a voice and I want to spread it to the world. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write.

Your Sacred Self  by Dr. Wayne Dyer p. 317 "What you think about expands into action. The more conscious you become of the ways you use your mind, the more you will be able to leave behind toxic ways of thinking. When you know that your thoughts expand into action, you become very careful about what you think because you know that your thoughts literally poison your life."

I had a problem of using my mind to dwell on the negativity in my life. I never understood that dwelling on negativity kept me mentally in a place of fear.  My moods were a manifestation of exactly what was going on in my head. Moreover, I didn't know that I was mentally on auto pilot?  I was being the best me that I knew at the time.  Therefore, I was just existing and not realizing that there was more to life than the personal mental prison that held me captive. Mind you, I didn't know that I was in a mental prison with my thoughts that led to my insecure actions.

On the contrary, changing my thought patterns enabled me to focus my attention and slowly crack open my "shy" shell. My shyness made me feel like a loner. I never related with people on a one on one level, because I was so shy. Actually, I should say that it took a long time for me to trust a person long enough to let my guard down. I always had walls that I built around me, due to trust issues and also my shyness issues. I know that I used to think that I was unworthy or I wasn't good enough and that I lacked something? I don't know what I could've lacked? Maybe it was the shyness that filled a void in my life that could've been attributed to my childhood?

In addition, I know that the walls that I built around me drove certain people away. As I said, I thought that I was unworthy and I mentally acted in unworthy ways. I unconsciously sabotaged my interactions with people. The feelings that I had inside of unworthiness must've showed in my attitude and body language? More specifically, the dancers that I interacted with and whom I thought had more confidence pushed me further into my "shy" shell.   I didn't think that I was good enough to be around those people. I never showed emotions while dancing, which is an essential part of portraying a character to the audience. Also, I didn't dance to my fullest potential all due to the negative thoughts that I conjured up in my mind. Truth be told, I was just plain scared of failing or looking bad. I wasn't my sacred self. I was someone else who didn't know how to be himself. I didn't know how to break out of the cycle of shyness? Why was I so afraid? Who really cares what people think!

Your Sacred Self  p. 317, rung a bell for me. I wasn't aware that I should think differently? How was I suppose to know that the thoughts in my mind were causing me to think and act in ways that were mentally unhealthy for me? I was living my life the best way that I knew how up until reading Your Sacred Self. I'm not saying that Your Sacred Self instantly released me from my self-imposed mental prison. The book enlightened me and it sparked yet another fuse in my heart to continue on my self-healing journey. It's so sad that some people don't realize that the thoughts that they think will set the motion of what will happen in their life. I don't necessarily believe that negative thoughts will manifest at that specific time.  But, I do believe that further down the road those negative thoughts will manifest if you don't become conscious of what you are thinking in your mind.

Thank you for letting me express myself today. If you would like to further read my other selected books that I've read on my self-healing journey, please head over to my website. You can check out the books that I read under Self-Help Books. I hope that I've encouraged someone today. :) Tweet